Penguins of Madagascar Truth or Dare Again!
by TheMusicBullet
Summary: The title is self-explanatory. The zoo animals  and maybe some others, too!  play truth or dare. Alot of the other authors who used to do this quit so I decided to make one myself. Submit yours truths, dares, and suggestions in the reviews.
1. PLEASE JUST REVIEW PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

Ok, so I really liked a few fanfics about the Penguins of Madagascar playing truth or dare. Unfortunately, those authors-viva9626 being, in my opinion, the best-have discontinued their stories, so I thought I'd try my hand at it. Check out the original ones, too. Ok, so send in the reviews with your dares, truths, and suggestions! Please!

**This is my first fanfic so I'd appreciate constructive criticism in the reviews, too, when I actually get started writing this thing. Over and out.**


	2. Round one!

Me: Alright! It's time to play truth or dare! Unfortunately, [angrily glares at the camera] almost no one submitted any reviews! Except for Alainawashere ! Thank you very much! Sheesh. You'd think the audience would WANT to participate in a television show! Apparently not.

Skipper: [eagerly] Do I get to slap a hippy?

Me: Unfortunately, no. Not unless SOMEONE SUBMITS A FREAKING REVIEW! I MEAN, WHY? WHY!

Everyone: [staring]

Me: [clears throat nervously] Um, all right. Let's get on with it then. The following was submitted by Alainawashere:

If I had to dare all of them I'd dare them all to wear poofy dresses that are pink (lol)Also, I'd dare skipper to wear a wig,

Private to run around, and try to fly,

Rico to blow up many many things (once again, lol XD),

and Kowalski (Did I spell his name right?) to stay under water for an hour. No breath takes either. :I

Alright I'm done :D

Everyone except Marlene: WHAT?

Kowalski: Not poofy pink dresses! Nooooooooooo!

Skipper: [just stares in shock]

Marlene: What's the problem with that?

Skipper: [looks at her incredulously] What's the problem? WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? This is gonna take away our dignity! Commandos don't wear dresses!

Kowalski: ...Actually, we don't even wear clothes.

Julien: My kingliness cannot be takened away from me, for I am the king that is me!

**_One hour later..._**

[They are all in poofy pink dresses]

Julien: Nooo! The royal booty has been shamed with this horrible pinkness! Maurice! Take it out of my sight! It burns my eyes, just like German folk dancing!

Me: We still have more dares, you know!

Skipper: I hate to say this, but Ringtail's right. We are... [sighs dramatically] Shamed! [throws his flippers up in despair]

[everyone (except Marlene) rips their dresses off and give them to Maurice, who tosses them out a random window that appeared out of nowhere]

Marlene: [twirling around in her dress, admiring herself] I look cute!

[everyone looks at her]

[silence]

Me: Awkward... Okay, let's back to those dares! Next up... Skipper!

Skipper: [looking nervous] Okay... I have to wear a wig... N-no big d-deal...

Me: [sarcastically] Oh, really? Okay, then. Bring out the wig, Kowalski!

[Kowalski walks through a door dramatically with steam coming out behind him. He is holding a purple and very extravagant ladies ballroom wig on a silk cushion in one flipper. He removes his goggles with the other flipper and throws them to the side, casually. They hit Rico in the gut, causing him to upchuck a stick of dynamite which flies up at the ceiling and blows it up, causing rain to pour down on them. Everyone glares at Kowalski.]

Kowalski: [speechless] ...I-I-I-I... Uh.. I- It was Rico!

Me: [irritated and sarcastic] Yeah. Sure it was. Now gimme the wig. [makes a grab for it, but misses]

Kowalski: This is state of the art, synthetic fiber which I-

Me: Who cares? Just give it. [grabs it from Kowalski, while Skipper tries to sneak away, unseen] Rico, contain Skipper!

[Rico tackles him to the ground, threatening him with a stick of lit dynamite, although it quickly fizzles out in the still pouring rain.]

Skipper: This is mutiny, soldier! [tries to kick Rico off, but to no avail]

Rico: Nuh-uh!

Me: He's right, Skipper. It doesn't count if it's a dare!

Skipper: [groans in defeat] Alright, alright! [puts his hands up]

Me: [shoves the wig onto Skipper's head, triumphantly] There!

Skipper: NOW can I take it OFF?

Me: [exasperated] Sure, whatever.

Private: [eagerly] My turn! [runs around and does some weird hops and jumps, trying to fly, but eventually gives up, disappointed]

Me: [brightly] Well, that wasn't hard! [muttering] For once.

Rico: [crazed] hucjgsdfkjhvbdvlk KAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM! [He upchucks a grappling hook, shoots up through the hole in the ceiling, and disappears. Explosions are heard in the distance.

Skipper: Come on, Private! Let's go control him before he takes his dare too far! [they slide out through the door]

Kowalski: Well... I guess it's my turn, then. Time to show off the new S.C.U.A.B.A. I made! [pulls something like a S.C.U.B.A. tank out from behind his back]

Marlene: [confused] Um, that's just a scuba tank. That would be breathing, wouldn't it? And according to Alaina's dare, that's not allowed.

Kowalski: [shakes his head] Amateur. [Marlene looks offended at this] It's a self-contained underwater artificial breathing apparatus! It's put's oxygen into your body so you don't have to breath! [a painful looking, waterproof iv protrudes from his shoulder]

[everyone stares at it with mixed expressions, ranging from disgusted to amazed to sympathetic to just plain shocked]

[Kowalski jumps into a pool that wasn't there two seconds ago]

_**One hour later...**_

Kowalski: [bursts up from the water, gasping for air] The S.C.U.A.B.A. sank about a half an hour ago! I held my breath the rest of the time!

Skipper (he's back now): Wow, soldier. You couldn't hold it for even a half hour? Remind me to work on our marine endurance training tomorrow!

Kowalski: [ashamed] Okay...

Me: Well, I think that wraps it up! Remember to send in those reviews! I MEAN IT! Okay, you guys can go home, now.

[Everyone else lets out sighs and exclamations of relief]

Skipper: Thank God! That was torture!

_**SERIOUSLY! REVIEW! **_ TRUTHS, DARES, COMMENTS, OR CRITICISM ARE WELCOME!


	3. Round Two!

Me: C'mon people! Time for more truth or dare! :D

[groans from everyone]

Me: Relax! It's not JUST torture! You get gifts and stuff too!

Mort: Yay! I like presents!

Me: …Alright, then. Okay let's get started. But first, a word to our viewers. [looks directly at camera] We hope you enjoy this program. Our sponsers are… CUT!

Skipper: What just happened?

Me: We're on tv. I had to stop for a commercial break.

Skipper: We're on tv?

Me: [sarcastically] No.

_**A few minutes later…**_

Me: Ok, we're back on air in 3... 2... 1... Hi! Welcome back! We'd also like to thank all the reviewers for their fabulous dares!

**(btw I'll try to get everyone's in. I probably won't get everyone in this chapter though. I'm so happy that I got so many! XD)**

Me: This one's from… let's see… mmmhmm… GoldenWheel:

That's awsome thinking about us reviewers :D lol! i wanna help u out n give the people torture, and gifts!here i go!Skipper- eat a brickPrivate- have a sword fight with Skipper, both of you using... SWORDFISH! xD

Kowalski- let rico taze you with a tazerRico- eat as much fish as you can in 30 seconds!Marlene- act like a guyKing Julien- be Queen Julien for the chapterBlowhole- go on a romancing date with Candy (my oc, info on my profile)Mort- try to catch your tail much like a dog~Candy signing out

Me: Wow, there's a lot here. Let's get started.

Skipper: …A brick?

Me: Yes.

Skipper: …Rico, give me a brick.

Rico: Ok! [upchucks a brick]

Skipper: [tries to eat it, but he can't]

Kowalski: [comes out of nowhere suddenly holding a bucket and some sort of weapon] I'll solve this problem! With SCIENCE!

Marlene: [nervously] Um, what's that?

Kowalski: Liquidizer 3000. [puts the brick in the bucket and shoots it with the Liquidizer 3000. It turns in to, well, liquid, obviously. He hands the bucket to Skipper, who looks at it with distaste but drinks it anyhow, just because he has to.]

Skipper: …Tastes like… Ashes, rocks, cement, and pork chops.

Private, Rico, Julien, and Marlene: What?

Me: Okay, now Private has to have a sword fight with Skipper using [pauses dramatically] Swordfish! [tosses a swordfish to both of them]

Private: [nervously] Skipper…

Skipper: En garde!

[They start swordfighting. Private is defeated when Skipper yells, "Look! A Lunacorn!" Private looks around and Skipper uses the distraction to knock him off balance, defeating him.]

Skipper: Don't be distracted so easily, soldier! Extra training for you tomorrow, Private.

Private: Sorry, Skipper.

Me: Moving on… Wait, where's Kowalski?

[They find him cowering in a corner]

Kowalski: Don't hurt me! Please! Aaaaaahhhhh…

Rico: Nuh! [grabs Kowalski and drags him outside. Screams of agony are heard. Kowalski is dragged back in by Rico, who has a taser in his other flipper]

Me: Well… That was a bit disturbing… But then again, it's Rico. I guess that takes care of Kowalski's dare. Next up, ooohhhh, you're going to like this Rico!

Rico: [excitedly] jfbviuhybvkjvhbjkuelppaqldmcm! FFFFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSHH!

Me: Yes, Rico. [a huge crate (bigger than an elephant) of fish drops out of nowhere] Eat as much as you can in thirty seconds.

[He blows up the crate and eats all of it in ten seconds flat. Everybody stares at him in shock]

Me:…Next dare iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssss….. For Marlene! Ok, you are supposed to act like a guy!

Marlene:…Ok. [does a deep voice] Uh, I'm so big-headed and I think I know everything! I like watching football all the time! I tell other people what to do and I think that the world revolves around me!

Skipper: [indignantly] Hey! Guys don't act like that!

Marlene: [sarcastically] Oh, really?

Private: [sniffled] That makes me sad!

Marlene: [soothing] Sorry, Private. Iwas only talking about CERTAIN people.

Me: …Okay King Julien. You-

Julien: I am Queen Julian, silly human! And you are all my royal subjects!

Me: Okay….. Blowhole?

Dr. Blowhole: Right here.

Skipper: AAAAGGGH! When did you get here, dolphin? [looks around for wherever his voice is coming from and sees a TV screen behind them] Ohhhh!

Blowhole: Actually, no need for that dare. I am already dating this delightful dolphin diva. [looks lovingly to someone offscreen, presumably Candy. Skipper barfs.]

Me: Well, Iguess that's taken care of now. Next! Mort! Chase your tail!

Mort: [starts chasing his tail wildy] !

Julien: I, Queen Julien, order Mort to stop of the annoying chasing tails!

Mort: !

Me: [shouting above the chaos that ensues as everybody starts yelling] OKAY! GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY AND THANKS FOR WATCHING. HAVE A NICE NIGHT AND TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR SOME MORE FUN! WE NOW GO TO THIS COMMERCIAL BREAK! BYE!


	4. Round Three!

**Me:** Hello and welcome back to the show! It's been a very busy month for me so sorry I didn't update. [crazed] I GOT ALOTTA DARES ALMOST TOO MANY BUT NOT QUITE TOO MANY AND IMMA HAPPY GIRL! [looks around awkwardly] Um, right. Ok, here's a dare from Captain Cynthia:

2Ok to make up for the lack of reviews...I WILL GIVE EPIC DARES! AND A LOT!

skipper: dance German folk dancing for 5 hours straight

Julien: watch skipper dance

Skipper: after you're done dancing, put on a LUNACORN COSTUME and shouts out to the whole world, "IM A PWETTY LUNACORN!"

Kowalski: go to doris's habitat, slap her as hard as you can with a fish, scream "I HATE YOU DORIS!" and then walk over here to my house and give me some blueprints for an awesome invention. Here's a map. And at the end of the chapter, come back, (I would've made the invention) and take the invention that I made and say this 5 times: "CC is such an awesome inventor and is smarter than me..."

Private: watch all the Saw movies, while watching lunacorns burn, WHILE eating 100000 winkies dipped in nacho cheese

Rico: watch the twilight movies (no you can't barf out anything to destroy the tv) and then tell me how you liked it!

Marlene: go on 5 man missions with the team for a week! Then stuff yourself with snowcones until you barf

Julien: dance till ya can't dance no more! Actually, dance for 10 days straight, no food, no sleeping, and no passing out. Then eat a burrito! (random)

Maurice: wear a "I love Mort!" t-shirt that I will give you that's 2 sizes too small (even for a lemur!) and prance around throwing pink flowers

Mort: DO NOT touch the feet for the rest of the chapter!

I hope you're happy! :)

**Me**: Wow, that was a lot. Well, here we go. Break a leg, Skipper. Break your legs for five hours! Straight!

Skipper: [grits his teeth (or beak. Whatever.) and gets a determined look on his face. He talks to Kowalski, Rico, and Private.] It's been an honor serving with you, men. [looks at me] Start the timer!

Me: [presses the start button on a stopwatch that I am suddenly holding] Go!

Skipper: [starts to do a German folk dance] Ringtail! You better be watching this! [groans] Kung fu is so much more fun!

Julien: NNOOOOOOOOOOOOO! IT BURN THE ROYAL EYES! [covers his eyes]

Me: No! You have to watch! Capt- Uh, 'sky spirit' Cynthia told you to. If you don't… Um… The sky spirits will will take away your boom box! [mutters] Yeah…

Julien: NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Not my boomy-box! [stares as if avidly interested]

Me: C'mon, everyone let's go watch a movie while they're doing that.

_**Five hours later…**_

[We all walk back in the door. My stop watch beeps. Skipper faints and Julien immediately starts screaming]

Julien: [madly] My eyes! My royal eyes! No! They cannot be taking it anymore! They cannot be accepting of this shameful dance!

Mort: [runs up and hugs Julien's feet] I'll protect you King J- [Julien flings him off and he soars through the hole in the roof that Rico made in round one]

Me: That was… interesting, to say the least.

Skipper: Ok, just hand me the Lunacorn costume and let's get this over with! [I hand him a Lunacorn costume and he puts it on] I'M A PWETTY LUNACORN! [shudders, then gets stern] You didn't see anything!

Me: Right… Kowalski. You know what you have to do.

Kowalski: [hangs his head and runs out the door sobbing] Yes! I know! WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Skipper: He needs some more training on concealing his emotions.

Me: Well, you weren't exactly neutral a minute ago when-

Skipper: I told you! You didn't se ANYTHING! [glares]

Me: Whatever. While we wait for Kowalski to come back, let's do the next dare! Private, I already have a room prepared with all the things your dare includes. Saw movies, burning Lunacorns, Nacho cheese, Peanut Butter Winkies…

Private: [rocking back and forth, hugging his Lunacorn] Miss Caring and Friendship, I'll never let anything happen to you. Please stay with me during this upcoming time of horror.

Skipper: Enough of this bubble-headed nonsense! [grabs the Lunacorn and throws it in the fire with the others. Private shrieks in horror] Be a man!

Private: [gulps and salutes. Skipper salutes back to him. Private walks into the room. All is quiet]

_**Later…**_

Skipper: [rocking back and forth, hugging himself] NO! He's only a boy! He's only a young booooooooooooooyyyyyyyy!

Me: [sarcastically] Be a man Skipper!

Skipper: Shut up!

Private: [walks out of the room] That was horrifying! [Skipper runs up and hugs him] Skipper, are you alright?

Skipper: [detaches himself from Private] …Yes. I'm fine!

Kowalski: [bursts in the door, breathing hard and sobbing] That was horrifying as well! [sinks to his knees (wait, do penguins have knees? Whatever.) and clasps his flippers]

Doris! Please forgive me! I never hated you! I don't! [looks at the camera] Captain Cynthia, YOU WILL PAY! Seriously! Five trillion Russian dollars!

Marlene: Um, why Russian- Never mind. I'm not even going to ask. [sighs]

Me: Your turn, Rico! [grabs him and throws him into a dark room. The sound of the Twilight movies is heard from within, along with Rico's gagging, growing louder every minute]

_**Later…**_

Me: [opens the door to the room Rico is in] Rico? The movies should be over by now…

Rico: [laying unconscious on the floor] …

Me: Rico! Wake up! It's over now! [shakes him]

Rico: Whaiazzzidippyr?

Me: Yeah… Whatever you just said.

Marlene: Who's turn is- Oh my God it's my turn isn't it?

Me: [evil smile] Why, yes it is. Let's see… Go on five-man missions with the penguins for a week!

Marlene: Oh, whatever. At least I've done this before.

_**A week later…**_

Marlene: Well, that wasn't too bad! [strikes a heroic pose]

Kowalski: Yes, except for the fact that you completely TRASHED TWO OF MY INVENTIONS!

Marlene: They had too many darn buttons! You told me too press the red button! Was I supposed to press the scarlet one? The rose one? Crimson? Bloodred? Neon? Royal?

Julien: Enough with the arguing of the smarty-pants penguin and Marlene! It's time for me to dance a real dance! [starts dancing]

_**Ten days later…**_

Julien: [still dancing like there's no tomorrow] Oh yeah, shake my booty! No one can out-party the king that is me that you see before you that is right now shaming you all with his kingly booty-shaking display that you cannot hope to compete with!

Skipper: I hate to say it, men, but… I think Ringtail's got us beaten on our stamina training. We ARE shamed! [flops down and beats his flippers on the floor] Iiiitt'sss nnnnoooooooottt fffaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiirrrrrr! It's not fair!

Me: You can stop now Ring- I mean, Julien. Here's a burrito.

Julien: [grabs the burrito and stuffs it in his mouth] Maurice! Get me a smoothie!

Me: He can't. It's his turn. [turns to Maurice] Here's that t-shirt.

Maurice: [groans] I have to wear… This?

Me: Yes. You do. Put it on. Now.

Maurice: [puts on the way too small 'I Love Mort tee and groans some more]

Me: Now here's those pretty pink flowers.

Maurice: [sighs] Oh well. I've been in more humiliating situations for King Julien, so… [shrugs his shoulders] Whatever. [prances around, throwing the flowers all around] Oh, and you don't have to worry about Mort's dare. King Julien already made me put him in restraints.

Mort: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHH! [Mort is chained to the wall, struggling to escape] THE FFFFEEEEEEEEEEEET!

Skipper: Sad Eyes? What-

Private: Why is Mort chained to the wall? [starts to run over to help him escape, but Kowalski stops him]

Kowalski: Private, take a look. Maybe it's best we leave him there for the present. [Mort is acting like he's rabid, trying to escape, screaming about Julien's feet]

Private: [sadly] I guess you're right, Kowalski. For his own good, I suppose. [sighs]

Me: [evil grin] Ssooooooooo… Kowalski. Is there something you'd like to say to Captain Cynthia?

Kowalski: [trembling] F-fine. Just because I say it, doesn't mean it's true! …CC is such an awesome inventor and is smarter than me... Ugh… CC is such an awesome inventor and is smarter than me... CC is such an awesome inventor and is smarter than me... CC is such an awesome inventor and is smarter than me... CC IS SUCH AN AWESOME INVENTOR AND IS SMARTER THAN ME! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! [runs out of the room, screaming vengeance on Captain Cynthia]

Me: I guess he went to go get the invention. [looks at camera] Ok, people. Sorry that I'm only getting one reviewer in per chapter so far, but I'm usually really busy and don't have much time to write, although I wish I did.

Skipper: Write what?

Me: Uh, classified.


	5. Round Four!

Me: [laughing maniacally] Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Christmas is almost here! So I hope you put more truth or dare on your list, 'cause that's what you're getting tonight!

Maurice: Um, I thought you said we were going to a party!

Me: It is a party! [psychotically] A party of joyful gift giving and... [pauses dramatically, and the lighting gets all creepy] PAIN! [more maniacal evil laughter]

Skipper: [nervous] Um, yeah... That's not at all disturbing. Yep. Perfectly normal.

Julien: This is outrageously not befitting of the king that is me! This booty-shaking festival is supposed to be a party celebrating me, your king, King Julien! It is Julienuary! It is the time of me to be recieving all the presenty presents!

Mort: I like Julienuary! [dashes to Julien's feet in hopes of catching him while he's distracted. Julien kicks him off and he flies through that hole in the ceiling that Rico made in Round 1]

Skipper: Go, men, go! We need to retrieve Sad Eyes before-

Marlene: Before he gets hurt! Poor Mort!

Skipper: No. Before he does any damage! [Rico babbles] Yes, Rico, we don't want him landing on our car. That would be a pain in the neck to clean up!

Me: Ah, I'm afraid that won't be possible. You see, I've locked all doors in the building from the outside. No one escapes! I'll dispatch some security guards to go get him.

Skipper: [suspiciously] Just where is this lair situated, anyway?

Me: It's not a lair! It's a freaking television studio.

Skipper: [shrieking] No! Our whole operation is compromised! Kowalski! Your new identity is Fernando Rodriquez; you've always dreamed of being a truck driver and you live in Texas! [Kowalski salutes] Rico! You're a brain surgeon-

Me: [cuts him off] First of all, calm down and shut up! Second, is it really wise to give Rico a job as a brain surgeon? He'll hack them up with chainsaws! And Kowalski would soup up his truck to be a sciencey and it would eventually explode and kill someone!

Skipper: I was going to tell Private that he's a professional wrestler...

Me: You're crazy! But enough already! Let's get on with it. The first dare is from Sam. Here goes:

Skipper shall slap hippies for the rest of the day continuously. Private shall break into the lunicorns studio and set it on fire with of course the help of Rico. Kowalski shall forget science for a whole day. Rico shall burn random buildings. Marlene: truth do you like Skipper?

Me (still): Wow. Well, Skipper, you know what to do.

Skipper: [perks up happily] Hippie time? [he's completely forgotten about the television thing]

Me: Yeah, I guess. [claps hands and the lighting immediately goes disco. A catwalk slides out from the wall and tons of hippies parade out like models and announce their names. Skipper grins maliciously. When every hippie is announced, the disco ball vanishes, the disco/hippie lights are replaced with normal florescent lights, and the catwalk vanishes] Now, Skipper, you go over into that room and slap them all repeatedly, until the round is over. [points to random orange door]

Skipper: Justice! [madly runs over to the random orange door and runs in. Painful slapping sounds are heard, accompanied by crazy laughing and 'Ouch!"'s]

Private: [whimpers] But they didn't do anything wrong... Did they?

Marlene: Shush, Private. It's alright... [puts her arm around him as he cutely sniffles]

Kowalski: Actually, no, it's NOT alright. By my calculations, there is a ninety-two percent chance that Private will have a nervous breakdown, caused by his dare... [everyone glares at him, and Private bursts into tears] Um... [nervously] I'm going to, um, leave now... [shuffles towards the exit door]

Me: I have already stated that there is no possible escape from this studio! Anyway, Rico, take Private away and do what you must. You have to break into the Lunacorns studio and set it on fire. Go, go, go!

Rico: [even MORE psychotic laughter] Uh-huh! [grabs Private, stuffs him in a burlap sack, and shoots up through the ceiling with a grappling hook, upchucking bombs along the way. Everybody ducks and covers]

Me: Yeah... I forgot about that hole... Apparently there IS an exit. But you can't get to it easily, so... [trails off and shrugs nonchalantly] Yeah. [evil grin] Ok, Kowalski. Say goodbye to your science brain!

Kowalski: [on his knees, flippers in the air] NOOOOOOOOO!

Me: [shoots Kowalski with a weird purple ray gun thing]

Julien: Um, okay, so what did dat purple shooter thingy do? 'Cause I WANT IT! Although dat smarty pants penguin isn't looking so smart at da moment...

Kowalski: Unngh...

Me: Uh, just leave him alone for the moment. He'll be alright. [mutters to self] Hopefully...

[Private and Rico burst in, and Private is hyperventilating]

Private: [terrified, hallucinating] No! NO! FIRE! DEAD! LUNICORNS EVERYWHERE! FIRE EVERYWHERE! NO MORE LUNACORNS SHOWS EVER AGAIN! AAAUUUUGGHHH!

Me: It's fine, Private.

Private: No! It's not!

Me: Yeah, you're right. It's not. I just didn't know what to say to get you to stop crying.

Private: [walks over and stands in the corner and cries]

Me: ...

Rico: ! [again, shoots up through the hole in the ceiling]

Me: I guess he's doing his dare now. But there's someone here who needs to be asked a very... special question. [whips around and stares down Marlene with piercing blue eyes] MARLENE! [Marlene jumps back, startled] Do you like Skipper?

Marlene: ! Can't hear a thing you're saying! ! Sorry! Lalalalalalalalalala! Must have an ear infection! Lalalalalalalala!I should go to the doctor! ! Like, right now! Lalalalala-

Me: HEY! [the room gets quiet] Just answer. It's not like Skipper can hear you right now...

Marlene: Um, no. Why would anybody think that... [quails under everyone's stern gazes] Fine! [breaks down] Yes! I do! Yesyesyes!

Skipper: [runs out of the Hippie Room, screaming] YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEESS! [hugs Marlene]

Me: ...Or maybe he can... [clears throat and stands up tall] Ok, Skipper, since you have exited the Hippie Room, that means that the round is over! [looks at camera] Happy holidays! Merry Christmas or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa or whatever the heck you celebrate!

**A/N: Sorry I only got in one dare. My schoolwork is killing me... I'll try to update my other stories during Christmas break, so check back later! :D**


	6. Round Five!

Me: YES! I GOT AN IPOD TOUCH AND MY OWN LAPTOP! WOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! [runs around the room, screaming with joy]

Private: [confused] What's an... iPod?

Kowalski: An iPod Touch is a device that makes use of digital, touch, and radio technology to-

Skipper: [slaps Kowalski] Quit with the science-y gobble-de-gook!

Kowalski: [rubs face (where Skipper slapped him) resentfully and grumbles] Fine! So unappreciative of science... [clears throat] To the scientifically uneducated, it is a device that the humans play with. You know, games and stuff. there's an amazing amount of practical applications too, I suppose.

Skipper: Can it slap hippies?

Random advertising commercial guy's voice coming from nowhere: Of course! There's an app for that! With the iPod, you'll never be lonely or bored again! Race cars, shoot guns, slap hippies, play with explosives, style hair or fur, bake, dance all night, play Nyan Cat; you name it, we've got it in the iPod Touch App store! Buy your iPod today!

Everyone: [looking around] ...

Everyone except Me and Kowalski: [shouts something about wanting an iPod Touch and bangs on the locked doors]

Rico: IWANNAWANNAWANNAWANNAWANNA! [regurgitates a grappling hook and shoots up through the hole in the ceiling, along with Skipper] !

Kowalski: NO! [sinks to his knees] Why? Curse you, powers of human commercial persuasion! CURSE YOU! EVERYBODY STOP! [no one pays attention to him and he gets trampled a few times]

Me: [facepalm] Why didn't I fix that hole in the roof yet? Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! [bangs head on the wall every time the word 'stupid' is said]

[Everyone screamms with delight as the doors somehow give way and they all run away to steal/buy iPods]

**_ONE HOUR LATER..._  
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[Everyone is sitting around with their iPods]

Me: Hey! Listen up! We haven't even started the truth or dare yet! This is a problem! Especially considering how we are LIVE ON TV!

Kowalski: [sighs] I'll go get the dares. [goes into a separate room and comes back a few seconds later] Ok, it's from Toon92...

Skipper: Truth. how do you feel about Marlene?

Private: Watch all 29 episodes of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and then tell me if it's better than Lunacorns (which it is)

Rico: Blow up the idiot who decided it would be fun for teens to write essays!

Kowalski: Eat as much candy as you want! and share with Rico and Private

Maurice: You get to be the king for as many chapters as you want and Julien has to be your slave.

Julien: Do you know that the best kings are kind and generous and considerate to other people's feelings?

Mort: Are Julien's feet smelly?

Marlene: Have another fun filled day with the badger sisters!

Joey the Kangaroo: Why are you so mean and grumpy?

Officer X: LEAVE THE PENGUINS ALONE!

Alice the Zookepper: Be nice to the animals!

Everyone: have a HUGE fun party and everyone needs to have fun! (Even you Skipper)

Me: Okaaaaaaaaay. Skipper? [looks over only to find that Skipper and Marlene are hugging. Alot. Really alot] UUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM... I guess our first question is answered, then. Heh heh. Heh. Yeeaahh okay then. Private. Start watching the telly!

Private: [eagerly] Gladly! But the Lunicorns shall always prevail! [strikes an epic pose]

Me: Yeah, wonderful. [malicious grin] Rico, you know what to do! Go blow up that essay guy!

Rico: [crazed, even more than usual] JHDVB KIHQPOWEFUZJHBXJVDK JVND IKJHDB IDUH BIJ HBI CJN VDJOV NBDVJO HBD VOJDFVHDFOVJD CVDSFJV HDOIVJ NDV D IJH VIFUVHJIFVFD DFVDFIUVHJFIDUVDEFV FVOJIFVNRFE VFRIDUVFR VFRVINEFVIEUFRVDF VNF VIEJFV EFVDV DFVK EFKJVEFD VKFDV FJ GJ BGJ JGB JGBNHDVORFGJBNOFJI GFRB OIRGJNB FGJN BGJOFRNB KJFGBJGFJG KLJG FKJNGBVJFVKN GFBJ! [exits through hole in ceiling]

Me: [facepalm] Fixitfixitfixit!

**_ONE HOUR LATER..._**

****Kowalski! Looks like this your lucky day! You eat as much candy as you want! Give Private and Rico some, too. [points to giant pile of candy in the corner] Unfortunately, your dare may have to wait, because the other two aren't done th-

Kowalski: CANDY! [runs over and dives into the pile of candy, devouring every piece within reach] CANDYCANDYCANDYCANDYCANDY !

Me: Hey, wait-

Private: I LOVE MY LITTLE PONY FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC MORE THAN LUNICORNS BUT NOT AS MUCH AS CANDY! [throws himself into pile of candy]

Rico: [drops down through the hole in the ceiling] CANDY! [jumps into candy pile]

Me: Um, never mind. I guess they ARE done their dares. While they're over there doing... that, I'll let Maurice decide how long he wants to be king.

Maurice: [slowly smiles] Hmmm... This could be fun. But I guess I'll only try it for two rounds. I wouldn't want to, er, upset King Julien. He can be quite... vengeful. Once this truth or dare game stuff was over, there's no telling what he'd do. Not that he COULD do much. [shrugs shoulders] But STILL. Two rounds are good enough for me, I suppose. By the way, why did they call it a... chapter?

Me: [a little too quickly] No reason. Slip of the tongue. Er, pen, I mean.

Maurice: Okay, if you say so. [turns to Julien] Your Majesty- I mean, servant Julien, I order you to fetch me a smoothie! No, two smoothies!

Me: Julien: Do you know that the best kings are kind and generous and considerate of other people's feelings?

Julien: I AM! Remember when I gave dat present to Amelia? And all da other times when I did the nicety nice thing! I AM NICE!

Me: WHAT other times? [Julien starts to speak, but gets cut off] You know what? Just forget it! Shut up and get Maurice his smoothies.

Julien: [huffs and goes into an adjoining room to make smoothies]

Me: WELL! Mort? Are Julien's feet smelly?

Mort: It doesn't matter because they the feet of the king who has beautiful, wonderful, sacred feet that the king has!

Me: Knowing Mort, we'll never get a straight answer, so I'm just going to move on to the next dare. Marlene! [Marlene is hyperventilating in the corner, with Skipper trying to comfort her]

_**ONE DAY LATER...**_

Marlene: I really don't remember any of what happened yesterday!

Me: Yeah, because you were outside the zoo and got all feral, like always!

Marlene: This is one time when I'm actually thankful for that problem I have!

Me: I agree. Joey!

Joey: Oi! Whadya want with Joey?

Me: Um, why are you so mean and grumpy?

Joey: Joey don't like you, mate. Bye! [gets in a fighting stance]

Me: Lemme out! Lemme out! [runs to the door, but can't open it]

Skipper: No escape! How do you like that now? [grins smugly]

Me: [punches Rico in the gut and gets a flamethrower] Ha! [raises eyebrows and appears pleased] This will work nicely!

Kowalski: Wait! That's not a flamethrower!

Me: [doesn't listen and shoots it at Joey] HA! [Joey freezes]

Kowalski: That freezes people in time! Allthough it'll wear off in about a day.

Me: Okaaaay. Moving on. Later I'll blackmail Officer X and Alice, telling her to be nice to you guys. Okay? Okay. PARTY TIME!

**_THREE DAYS LATER..._**

****[Everyone is passed out on the floor after having a big party. There is a sign that says, "Tune in next time for another round of truth or dare!"]


End file.
